Improving Relationships

The imam began the reminder today with the first ayat of Sura Al-Anfal, it’s translated to say:

They ask you ˹O Prophet˺ regarding the spoils of war. Say, “Their distribution is decided by Allah and His Messenger. So be mindful of Allah, settle your affairs, and obey Allah and His Messenger if you are ˹true˺ believers.”

Dear brothers, one of the conditions mentioned here is about settling your affairs and the reminder this week is on improving relationships.

The skill of counselling is one that is in more demand than ever. People are in need of assistance with regards to their mental health and sincere advice. However, Islam advocates that we can all help one another by being there for each other, to advise and to counsel one another.

And although this isn’t a replacement for professional help, this ought to be something that we should all aim to deliver for one another as is mentioned in the hadith of the Prophet SAWS which is translated to say:

Shall I not inform you of something more excellent in degree than fasting, prayer and almsgiving (sadaqah)? The people replied: Yes, Prophet of Allah! He said: It is putting things right between people, spoiling them is the shaver (destructive). 

And so, it is clear from this that the first responsibility of improving relationships lies with each of us. We need to be there for one another, but that isn’t to say that this role doesn’t come with manners and guidelines for us to be good counsellors to one another.

And so, this reminder concludes with a list of points that we should all aim to follow when fulfilling this role.

  1. Have the right intentions. Dear brothers, we need to make sure firstly that when helping others it is for their sake and not our own. There should be no thought of personal gain when helping others. We do so for the sake of Allah SWT and not our own personal desires.
  2. We should follow manners of language and approach. For example not get angry or use foul language. This helps both us and the recipient as they are more likely to accept our counsel.
  3. We should aim to fix the issues with sincerity, love and fairness. Not to ignore the issues when presented as its our duty to help others.
  4. If trying to reconcile between others, give each party a fair voice and then offer a solution and a way forward based on a fair conclusion between them. Remember, our conduct as peacemakers between others is something that we will be accountable for and so it’s vital that we do not let our prejudice get in the way of any resolution between others.

Dear brothers, we need to be there for one another now more than ever. Let us be the reconcilers and peacemakers for one another and use today’s reminder as a catalyst for bringing about peace and harmony between one another.

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