Controlling Anger
Dear brothers, the topic of this weeks’ khutba has been on anger. Anger is, like any other emotion, a force to do good with or a force that has negative outcomes.
We all have experiences daily that can strengthen or weaken us. And there are times when things cause one to become angry. At this stage though, it becomes our responsibility to recognize and properly use anger in a positive way to benefit us.
Allah SWT mentions in the Quran, the blessing that is placed upon those who exercise Anger Management. In Sura Al-Imran, He says:
And hasten to forgiveness from your Lord and a garden as wide as the heavens and earth, prepared for the righteous who spend in the cause of Allah during ease and hardship and who restrain anger and who pardon the people – And Allah loves the doers of good.
Dear brothers, if we reflect on the ayats above, we can see that those who exercise Anger Management are blessed with forgiveness, heaven and the love of Allah SWT.
Anger can be like a fire. And one is not able to combat fire by sparking another fire or pouring fuel upon it. This is destructive for all. Whereas pouring water onto the fire will curb it, if not end it altogether.
This leads well onto a hadith of the Prophet SAWS in which he said:
Anger is from the devil, and the devil is created from fire, and this is turned off by water, therefore if you get angry perform ablution.
Dear brothers, one is aware of the advice given regarding Anger. The top 3 tips are usually given by an elder such as reciting Authoo… meaning I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Shaytan, Sitting down or lieing down when angry, or keeping silent altogether.
However being that calm, tolerant person does require a lot of self-discipline which at times can become difficult.
Therefore to finish off today’s Khutba, what follows are 7 tips that can be followed to avoid anger or avert it before it becomes destructive:
- You have to understand that anger is not a matter of power or ability.
The Prophet SAWS said “The strong man is not the one who can wrestle, but it is the one who can control himself when he is angry.”
Therefore lets remove that whisper Shaytan has trying to convince us Anger is a measure of power as the hadith here clearly illustrates otherwise.
- Regard anger as an infection
Keep due distance from those ill-tempered people, regardless of the extent of their anger and the reason behind it. If one finds themselves on the receiving end of anger – leave the situation until the anger is dissipated otherwise it has a danger of being passed on to the recipient.
This leads us on to 3. Feel free to delay your reaction Dear brothers, it won’t bruise your dignity nor tarnish your image. You can end your presence in this situation. Whether physically or if it’s a phone conversation, or a virtual presence with chatting, and react later when you’re mentally ready to deal positively with the situation.
- Keep the interest of the Muslim community in mind.
Whether this is children in the home, elderly parents, neighbours or others. Displaying anger publically harms both the individual in their situation that has caused the anger and longer-term in the perception formed by the people witnessing it – especially the young.
- React with a calming statement.
Anger can be resolved. Even the most heated of discussions. However, it is through compromise. A great tip is to insist on the following rule: Take short turns in speaking to one another and before each turn, paraphrase what the other said previously. This makes all parties listen and calm as a result.
- A few kind words can have a surprising effect.
Reverting the whole situation into a pleasant tone will help lessen tensions. On the other hand, harsh words trigger retaliation. Watch your words because they can set the tone for an entire situation.
- Don’t become that person.
If you hate the attitude of the person who’s angry, know that reacting in a harsh manner will render you pretty much similar to him/her, so you’d better be careful.
Be strong and make your calm manner contain the situation. Be wise. Self-control is cornerstone to curbing people’s anger.
May Allah SWT enable us to control our anger. May Allah SWT make us of those he loves for controlling our anger and may Allah SWT rewards us accordingly for controlling our anger.
Ameen wal hamdullilahi rabilalameen.
