{"id":2883,"date":"2022-08-26T11:11:12","date_gmt":"2022-08-26T10:11:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.salahadeenmosque.org.uk\/?p=2883"},"modified":"2022-08-26T11:11:12","modified_gmt":"2022-08-26T10:11:12","slug":"gift-of-children","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/salahadeenmosque.org.uk\/index.php\/2022\/08\/26\/gift-of-children\/","title":{"rendered":"Gift of Children"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

As Allah SWT\nstates in the 49th<\/sup> ayat of Sura Ash-Shura:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To Allah belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth;\nHe creates what he wills. He gives to whom He wills female [children], and He\ngives to whom He wills males.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dear\nbrothers and sisters, last week we spoke of the ultimate gift in this life\nwhich is the gift of faith. Following on from that, the next most beautiful\ngift we are given during the course of our lives is that of children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The imam\nreminded us with this ayat and we should remember this even when our children\ntest our patience and our resolve because that is part of their purpose too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And raising\nchildren appears to be fraught with challenges and difficulties more than ever\nbefore as we see the way the world is today.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, it\nis worth remembering a few key points in regards to this. Firstly, there is no\ncalamity that affects anybody without the permission of Allah SWT. He has the\nability to keep every child steadfast and protected even in the most difficult\nof environments. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have been\nadvised in our deen to procreate and have children in our marriages as they are\na gift of Allah SWT. This fact does not change if we are living in a Muslim\nland or if we are living in the most secular of places. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, just\nlike when we look at the lives of our own parents and the world they grew up\nin, it appears alien to us. Just like this, they once must have thought the\nsame about the world we grew up in and had the same worries as parents. We must\nremind ourselves that with each passing generation, the tests and challenges\nwill change and we are not expected to understand the world our children grow\nup in. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just like it\nwas with us, that is their test to conduct. It is for them to grow, adapt, seek\nthe help from Allah SWT and seek mentoring from their parents and their elders.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We need to\nbe mindful of this fact and not try to force our experiences onto them as their\nworld may not be the same as what we knew when we were growing up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What does\nremain the same is the advice we are given on raising our children by our\nProphet SAWS. He was a devout father and in the examples of his fatherhood are\nprecious lessons that stand the test of time and are applicable today to all\nparents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One of the\nfirst lessons was reminded to us by the imam as he relayed a hadith which is\ntranslated to say:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

 ‘Aishah (May Allah be pleased with her) reported:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Messenger of Allah (\ufdfa) said, “Allah is Forbearer and\nloves forbearance in all matters.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dear\nbrothers and sisters, for those who don\u2019t know, forbearance means self-control,\nrestraint and tolerance. So we have to practice these things around our\nchildren. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Practically,\nthis means to be mindful of Allah SWT even when we are teaching them, punishing\nthem for bad behaviour or rewarding them for good behaviour. Our deen is based\non etiquettes and the way in which we deal with children is no exception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The second\npoint to note here is that children have a high perception of hypocrisy. Unlike\nthe British saying of \u201cDo as I say and not as I do\u201d, we are taught that the best\nlesson comes from being the role model for our children. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example,\nif we are asking our children to be mindful of their manners but we demonstrate\nbad manners ourselves then they will struggle to learn them and on top of that,\nthey will see that there is hypocrisy in us. This then erodes the trust they\nplace in us to be teachers for them and that is a danger we must avoid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Equally, we\ncan\u2019t ask them to be mindful of salat or reading Quran if they never see us do\neither. And so, if there is a trait in our children we are wanting to change\nthen we should be asking ourselves first if there is something we are doing\nwhich is causing this behaviour.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The third\npoint is that we must both encourage and reward good behaviour but patiently\nand calmly point out and punish bad behaviour. Unfortunately the values\nchildren possess as they grow up is diverging more and more from what we are\nmeant to instill into them and what society tells them are the values they\nshould have. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

We need to\nbring about a love for Allah SWT and the Prophet SAWS in their hearts at the\nearliest of ages and when they are still children, explain to them that they\nvalues we hold dear are not man-made, but they come directly from Allah SWT and\nthat they are values which Allah SWT loves. Connect good behaviour to the\nvalues found in Islam and this is the best chance of success in getting\nchildren to adopt them as they grow up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Finally, we\nhave practical tips we can implement. Things like eating together, listening to\nQuran, praying in congregation, visiting Islamic countries to show them other\nsocieties, encouraging good friends and good hobbies. These all contribute to a\ngood upbringing of our children. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And as the\nimam reminded us, we have a dua in as-saffat, ayat 100 which is translated to\nsay:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My Lord, grant me [a child] from\namong the righteous<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As Allah SWT states in the 49th ayat of Sura Ash-Shura: To Allah belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth; He creates what he wills. He gives to whom He wills female [children], and He gives to whom He wills males. Dear brothers and sisters, last week we spoke of the ultimate gift […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_regular_price":[],"currency_symbol":[],"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2883","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sermon"],"blocksy_meta":[],"post_slider_layout_featured_media_urls":{"thumbnail":"","post_slider_layout_landscape_large":"","post_slider_layout_portrait_large":"","post_slider_layout_square_large":"","post_slider_layout_landscape":"","post_slider_layout_portrait":"","post_slider_layout_square":"","full":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/salahadeenmosque.org.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2883","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/salahadeenmosque.org.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/salahadeenmosque.org.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/salahadeenmosque.org.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/salahadeenmosque.org.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2883"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/salahadeenmosque.org.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2883\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/salahadeenmosque.org.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2883"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/salahadeenmosque.org.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2883"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/salahadeenmosque.org.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2883"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}